1) It is ok to be shocked when you find out you have cancer. It is an illness that has such a negative connotation and that can overwhelm even the strongest person.
2) You are going to be making a lot of BIG decisions. Accept help from your medical team and talk to your spouse / family. It is something you don’t have to face alone.
3) Losing your hair sucks! Well, it did for me. I had to learn to love myself for me and not for what I see in the mirror. I think this is the first step in this whole process of accepting yourself. I have never had a good body image and losing my hair was really tough for me. But seeing myself through other peoples’ eyes really helped. As did wigs and beautiful scarfs!
4) You have to rely on others. A lot! It was so difficult for me. But I realized that accepting their help was the only way they could help me fight this battle as in the end you are the only one who can do the physical act of beating this thing. People can bring you food, gifts, help drive around the kids or just pray. Allow them to.
5) Knowing that they are removing both breasts including your nipples was a big thing for me. I LOVE my boobs. I always have, They have always been the perfect size and knowing that it was going to change was huge. I was afraid of losing my confidence. The little that I had in myself.
6) Prepare yourself that your road will be bumpy. My plan was 6 chemo treatments, followed by a bilateral mastectomy and then reconstruction. The actual road was a bit more difficult than that. I always just focussed on the end of the road and therefore every bump I faced was really tough for me. Somewhere along the road I realised to focus on shorter goals and that made it easier to face problems when they occurred.
7) Remember your family is also affected by this. Just because they don’t have to fight it physically doesn’t mean they are not suffering. Allow them to also grieve and have bad days. Your kids will struggle, your husband especially and your close family and friends.
8) Cancer should not make you a victim but rather a hero. Remind yourself of that fact and how amazing your body is for fighting this beast.